


Virtual combat

by Laoness



Series: Help, my neighbour is a Sith! [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Comedy, Crack, F/M, Gen, Humor, Maul discovers online gaming, and he is very stereotypical, don't take this seriously, i guess this is the result of that question, it's just for fun, what if star wars characters had gaming consoles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:35:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26378143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laoness/pseuds/Laoness
Summary: One day Maul was bored and browsed the holonet for interesting things to do. He falls victim to a very interesting add and shortly after finds himself getting addicted to this new game.
Relationships: Darth Maul/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Help, my neighbour is a Sith! [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1915648
Kudos: 11





	Virtual combat

“Maul.” Shir walked into the living room, finding the zabrak lying on the couch as per usual. He never seemed to be doing much else these days. “I’ve got a job that’s gonna take me a few days to accomplish. Lots of traveling is involved and so on.” She put her bag on the table and started to pack everything that she needed.

“Mhm.” Maul just hummed with a hand gesture. Shir looked up confused and put her hands on her hips. 

“Don’t you have like…. Crime stuff to attend to?” She asked. When she didn’t get an answer she walked over to him. She rested her arms on the backrest of the couch and looked at him. He looked terribly bored. “Well?” She tilted her head a little. 

“Not at the moment. Everything is taken care of.” He mumbled. “Dryden informed me our spice dealers haven’t run into any obstacles or problems or whatsoever. It bothers me.” 

“Why? Isn’t that a good sign?”

“It’s too good.” He sighed frustrated. “Something is going to go wrong sooner or later. I just have a bad feeling about this.”

“Oh, you worry too much.” She patted his shoulder. “The Empire is probably just too busy hunting and fighting off the rebels across the galaxy. It’ll be fine.” She returned back to the table to grab her bag and swung it over her shoulder. “Anyway, I’ll be gone for a few days. Can you promise me you won’t kill any of the neighbours and drag attention to yourself?”

“I’m a crime lord operating from the shadows.” He sat up to look at her. “I can manage.” 

“Excellent.” She smiled. “I’ll see you in a few days then.” Shir hesitated for a moment, but then walked over to him and gave him a quick smooch on the lips before she walked out the door. 

Maul lied back down on the couch with a sigh. With Shir gone, what was he going to do to kill the time? Killing… Yes, that seemed like a good hobby? No bad idea, he shouldn’t attract attention to himself – he just said that a moment ago. Hm, but what else could he do? Read? No, he’s read every holopad they have already – some even twice. Maybe he could order some new ones? Yes, that seemed like a nice idea. 

He got up from the couch and sat down behind the computer. It took him only a few clicks to enter the holonet and he typed in some titles in the search bar. With his chin resting on one hand he browsed through the different options that got presented to him – with the occasional annoying advertisements. But after scrolling for about ten minutes he gave up. Nothing really sparked his interest. Just as he was about to close the holonet browser his eye caught something else. 

“Holostation 7?” He read out loud and clicked on the advertisement. A video started playing about this new gaming console with the highest graphics for maximum gaming pleasure. After researching a bit more, the zabrak started to get interested in this thing. He watched some more videos on HoloTube about people using this console and playing all sorts of different games. The longer he watched the more he wanted to try it out himself. It would be a great way to pass the time! And something different than reading. Now that he thought about it, he heard his neighbour talk about playing on it a few days ago. What if… Yes! What if he could beat his neighbour’s ass at this game called ‘Battlefront’! What an excellent plan! Maul had to stop himself from grinning. 

“You’re going down.” He said to himself while looking up where to buy this holostation 7. “Kriff that is expensive.” But hey, he was a powerful crime lord; he had enough credits. His men wouldn’t exactly be happy to know what he used them for, but they didn’t need to find out. And with a few more clicks he ordered the console with two games. He even got some discount! Sweet. 

The delivering system on Coruscant was amazingly developed. Run fully by droids and computers it was the fastest in the galaxy. It allowed its citizens to get everything they needed or wanted right away. And thus it only took a few hours for Maul’s package to arrive in the mail. When he heard the knock on the door, he stood up and opened it only to be greeted by a droid holding his package. 

“Delivery, sir.” The droid said. 

“I’ll be taking that, thank you.” Maul grinned and took the package. He already wanted to close the door when the droid held a holopad under his nose. 

“Sorry, I need your signature.” His what now? Oh dear. He didn’t develop a signature for his fake ID yet. Of course he ordered the thing under a different name, he couldn’t risk exposing himself like that. 

“Uh, sure.” He grabbed the stylus and just scribbled something down. That’d have to do. The droid thanked him and left. Maul closed the door and put the package down in the living room. Immediately he started to unpack it and gazed upon his new priced possession. The holostation 7 was a polished black box with a lot of slots and buttons. There was also an instruction manual included in the box, but Maul just tossed it aside. Who needed instructions? Plugging this thing in couldn’t be that hard. 

So he thought. But it took him quite awhile to get it up and running; especially with the holonet connection. He had to troubleshoot it a few times and only after he searched for the problem’s solution online he managed to fix it. 

“Finally!” He exclaimed happily when he saw the loading screen of the game. He was asked to fill in a username. Maul stared at the blank space and the flickering curser. Shit, he hadn’t thought about one. This needed to be a good one, something that would strike fear into his enemies. A name to be remembered by, but wouldn’t reveal who he was. 

“ _CrimsonMenace_.” Was the best he could come up with and he entered it into the bar. He thought about ‘PhantomMenace’ but that might just have been a little too obvious. But there was an error, saying that name was no longer available. “What?!” Maul exclaimed. “Fine… _CrimsonMenace99_.” He mumbled and added the number. The system approved of it and accepted the name. Without further ado he started the first level. The game gave him some instructions of the controls and the dynamics of the gameplay. It took the zabrak a bit to get used to it, but eventually he was ready to enter online combat mode. 

“You’re all going down.” He grinned while waiting for the game to load. Said game was a simple first person shooter based on the Empire’s military forces. There were different kinds of ranks, which you had to unlock of course, and earn medals. The maps consisted of different planets and cities. When the game loaded, he recognized the capital city of Naboo and he grunted in frustration. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” Why did he have to be reminded of the loss of his legs even when he was trying to have a good time? 

No matter, he was going to show these fools who was the superior soldier here! He wasn’t quite sure what the objective was, but it didn’t really matter. He just started blasting. And as he found out soon enough, he wasn’t really good at it. Shooting with a gun seemed to be a lot harder than he thought. He was so used to fighting with lightsabers... Now he wondered if those were also included in the game. Probably not, since the Empire would never allow such a popular game to have some sort of Jedi in there. Not that he wanted to ever play a Jedi. Not even in a game. But a lightsaber was just so much more superior. 

Well the match continued. His rank sadly wasn’t high enough to unlock the next unit so he was stuck with a simple stormtrooper and a cheap blaster, which barely caused any damage. “I see how it is. Stealth is the key.” He mumbled and adjusted his tactics. Yes! It worked! He got his first kill. 

“Ha! Take that PlanetSlayer67!” He grinned proud and continued the match. The longer he played the better he got. And he soon realized that neither shouting at the screen nor pushing the buttons on the controls harder made him any better in game. That didn’t mean he stopped doing it. 

After an hour the match was over and his team won. Of course they would, he was on that team. Sadly, he didn’t make it into the high score of the match and it bothered him. But it was his first try out. It would take more practice to become better and unlock better weapons. Patience was the key here – he was never really good at it, but he learned to be patient during his long lost years of isolation. 

Maul spent the entire rest of the day and most of the evening playing _Battlefront_ on his newly acquired holostation 7. He managed to unlock three more units and weapons. Now he was getting it! But eventually exhaustion got the better of him. So, against his own will he turned the console off and headed to bed. That night he had trouble falling asleep, since his mind was still preoccupied with the game. He’d have to do something else the next morning… to feel a bit more productive. 

But when the next morning came, he found himself sitting on the couch again and playing the game. Maul was determined to be the best and he couldn’t allow himself to fall behind! He was so distracted that he forgot to have breakfast and only when he felt a gaping hole in his stomach he had to stop himself from playing and get some food. But instead of something healthy, he just stuffed a few ration bars into his mouth and continued playing. 

“Ah ha! There you are, Brad!” Was that even his name? It was now. Maul grinned as he finally found his neighbour in one of the matches. “Come here!” he followed him across the entire map and eventually shot him down, laughing manically. “That’s what you get from drilling holes at six in the morning!” This was far too satisfying. 

This continued throughout the entire afternoon. He filled his stomach once again with some ration bars and lost all sense of time and whatever else was happening around him. Until eventually his comm-link beeped. Maul looked at the circular device next to him and back at the screen. Then back at his comm-link. He should probably get that… But this was an online game; he couldn’t just pause! Right in that moment he got shot down. 

“Damn it!” He cursed, but at least now he could take the call. Without even thinking who it could be, he accepted the call. The holoimage showed Dryden Vos in front of him. “What? I’m busy!” Maul snarled. The human on the other end seemed to be rather surprised to find his esteemed leader in such a terrible state – appearance wise (Maul was just dressed in a t-shirt and some shorts). But he was smart enough not to say anything. 

“Forgive me for bothering you, my lord. But I wanted to inform you that the spice runners were successful in their mission.” Maul blinked a few times. Wait, which mission was that again? Oh no, this was embarrassing. He was so distracted by this new game that he completely forgot about the spices he had ordered to steal a few days ago!

“My lord?” Vos’ voice pulled him back into reality. “What would you have me do with them?” 

“Store them. I will inspect them in person and give further instructions.” Maul quickly responded. He needed more time to refresh his memory. What was he going to do with those again? 

“As you wish my lord.” Vos made a small bow before the holoimage disappeared again. Maul leaned back with a long sigh. Maybe this new game wasn’t such a good idea after all. He stared at the stormtrooper on the screen in front of him. 

“Alright, I’ll finish this match. Then I will be productive.” He told himself and got back into the game. But everyone knew that was a lie. And he continued to play until deep into the night. 

The next day, in the afternoon, Shir came home with a stash full of credits. Happily she opened the door and walked inside her apartment. “I’m back!” She shouted in a cheerful tone and put down her stuff. But she didn’t hear a reply. Or well, she heard something just not a reply to her greeting. 

“Damn you ChosenOne69! I’ll get you next time!” She heard Maul yell. Oh no, what was going on here. When Shir entered the living room she almost couldn’t believe it. Maul was sitting on the couch, still playing the game. From the looks of it he hadn’t done anything else since she left. The coffee table was full of wrappers and emptied energy drinks and he didn’t look any better. Had he even changed out of his clothes in the last two days? Who knew. His eyes were focused on the screen so he didn’t even see her. But then she looked at the screen herself and saw the advanced stormtrooper unit walking around something that looked like the lower levels of Coruscant and blasting some droids or whatever those were.

“Maul?” She asked and when he didn’t reply she decided to repeat it, with a bit more force. “Maul!” The zabrak in question flinched and turned around, getting shot in game immediately. 

“Shir, you’re back!” He stated. “Has it been three days already…?” Where had the time gone? He had planned to do so many other things but he ended up gaming for three days straight. 

“What the hell did you buy now?” She gestured at the screen and the black box underneath. 

“It’s a holostation 7 with a game called _Battlefront_.” He explained with a proud smile. “I’ve already unlocked most of the basic units and reached level 68. Impressive, don’t you think? I even got a new skin for this stormtrooper.” But the bounty hunter just face-palmed. 

“I admit it’s nice that you have found something else to do.” She sighed. “But once again you’ve taken it to extremes. Have you even attempted to take care of yourself while I was gone?” She gestured at all the trash on the table. Maul put down the controller and looked at the mess he made. Oh, right… She had a point there. Now he almost felt a bit guilty about trashing the place and neglecting his work – and everything else. With a sigh he stood up. 

“It seems I got a little too invested in playing. I’ll… clean this up.” He replied. Shir raised a brow and something changed when she saw his stats on screen. Maul wanted to leave but Shir grabbed his arm to stop him. 

“You can do that after you finished this match.” She grinned. “You’ve got an excellent kill streak, don’t ruin it.” She pointed at the numbers on screen. Maul now looked confused but Shir made him sit down again. She sat down next to him and gave the controller. “Kill those bastards!” She said eagerly. Maul grinned and got back into the game. 

While he was playing she cheered him on and eventually the match was over, with Maul getting the high score. The two of them laughed and high-fived. But then Shir really got him to clean up the mess he made.

On the other end of the galaxy there was a certain cyborg man in a cape, who was also enjoying a good match of _Battlefront_. No one has ever bested him before! He had paid for all the upgrades himself and thus was unstoppable. After every match he would be in the top three at least! 

“Pathetic fools.” He muttered while shooting one enemy after the other. “No one can stop me, hah!” He wanted to laugh, but remembered that it would hurt too much and wasn’t worth it. Besides, if his master caught him wasting precious time like this, he’d get some severe punishment. But just as he was enjoying himself, he was suddenly shot in the head in game and his high score was gone. In horror the man stared at the screen. 

_CrimsonMenace99 defeated ChosenOne69._

He narrowed his eyes and pointed at the screen. “Curse you _CrimsonMenace99_. This will be the last time I lose to you, mark my words!!” His words were barely audible over the heavy breathing of the mask. He heard someone coming and quickly turned off the screen. 

“Lord Vader! We’ve located the rebel ship!” he heard one of the imperial officers declare. The man stood up, towering a good two meters tall. 

“Excellent.” Vader answered. He might’ve been defeated in an online game, but no one would beat him in real life. “Prepare my ship.”


End file.
